I've been exhaustedly trying to plod forward to the finish line of what has frankly been a pretty tough autumn! My (perfect) dog has had many medical emergencies, culminating in a cancer diagnosis and leg amputation; my (perfect) daughter has been filling out college applications, and I signed up for a single-mom workload that would have threatened to topple me even without those two extra factors. In other words, Thanksgiving has been the light at the end of the tunnel since Labor Day.
To stay I'm stunned would be an understatement. When I made the longlist, I guaranteed friends and family that it was flattering and wonderful, but also as far as I would go - because look at the names on that list! When I made the shortlist, I doubled down. And then I got the most incredible phone call one Sunday morning from an area code in California.
And in that way that happens sometimes when you're beyond exhausted, the news, so far, has mostly made me want to climb into bed and cry! I realize that's both counterintuitive AND oversharing (and also may - 100% inaccurately - sound ungrateful), but I also think it's because the grant itself - and the way the foundation describes it - is all about finding someone who might be on the brink of toppling, and tossing them a ladder.
To be described as someone who is on the cusp of completing a major literary project, as someone who needs an opportunity like this to reach their full potential, as someone who is having to choose between survival and art, and who desperately needs the freedom and time to do their work, is...well, it parts the clouds.
And to follow Nicole Sealey and Kima Jones? Staggering. Like, immobilizing, almost, but we'll cross that bridge next week!
Luckily, with this incredible honor also comes the end of autumn quarter - and also the beginning of a couple of months with a slightly less ruthless schedule. I can't wait to take a very, very long nap and then get started.
Molia Dumbleton and Carina del Valle Schorske win Granum Prizes